Indifference is a strange form of demonic aggression.
The sin of indifference is like a stoic face that can only say ‘no.’ No, you will not receive. No, you will not be comforted. No, you will not be supported. No, you will not be helped. No, you will not be held. Rather, you will be suspected. You will never be believed. You will be pushed aside. You will be wildly laughed at. You will be tripped. You will be thrown in the trash. Your only blanket will be snatched and burned.
Indifference is worse than hate. It is anti-emotional. It is the watching of the half-dead Lamb carrying a tree, wishing He would just give up and die already. It is the ultimate hardness of heart; a sickness only the Holy Spirit can heal.
Indifference is the wide road; an easy slide. My stomach. My body. My pleasure. My money. My goals. My food. My ideas. Thoughts of the other is such a chore. My child’s needs are simply extensions of my needs. Few pray for the real salvation of their children’s souls out of fear of the possibility of true holiness entering their children or even their home, casting omniscient light throughout the house, exposing what is love, what is not love, what is wanting. As a consequence, suffering goes unexplained. Spiritual dirt lurks in the corners, piling atop idolatrous mantles.
“But that is life, the only way.”
“Look after yourself as I do.”
“Real loving is just too laborious, too consuming.”
Those are the red light messages blinking over the highway of indifference.
But some achieving souls push in the opposite direction. Some go because they are drawn. Others because they are called. While others trek against the tide of indifference towards love, searching for a better way, meaning, purpose, destiny. Those who persevere produce fruits along the way. They become billboards of what is good, models of the possibility of righteousness. Turning the other cheek, forgiving offenses, ameliorating others pain while themselves disabled, opening their hearts even in the most exhausting of moments. Such is the narrow road of love; a sliver of a path, really. Thankfully, there are plenty of rest spots along the way. Since the laborers are so few, they do more than they ought, thus necessitating the need to sit and breathe for a time.
Rebels hate the narrow road of love. Love is an attribute a rebellious heart cannot possess. Unable to bow to Good, they are chained to wrong, to sloth, and grumbling. They are wild. So some rebellious souls hide behind those rest spots and wait to pounce on the achieving soul as he attempts to relax in the Spirit. They hiss in his ear. They lie to him, mocking his weakness from lending his strength to others, condemning his exhaustion of loving the unloved, devaluing his hunger from fasting for justice. They encourage him to get up, leave this insanity and go find something to eat for himself. They entice him with promises of riches, pleasure. They say the road of indifference is much easier.
But because of their persistent error, rebellious souls exist in the outside, grasping new information through only one way: by looking; looking through the window of a house they cannot yet enter; looking at the light of a Son they cannot yet comprehend; looking at the achieving soul’s life as an example they are unprepared to follow (although they may secretly desire to). And the achieving soul knows these temptations may last an hour, a month or a lifetime. He knows what is true strength, that is, resting in the truth of God and ignoring every other voice. It is an unnerving resolve that the achieving soul must maintain; a will to cross the finish line even if one’s legs are broken by demonic assault, resulting in a slow humble crawl across the final line, a courageous act which will undoubtedly be blessed by God on the other side.
I RESOLVE to resist the temptation to abandon, to be indifferent, to ‘not care’. It is easy to say, but may cost me my life.
©Michelle St. Claire. All rights reserved.