cool air
icy
pushing through the clouds
higher and higher
seeing the land
tops of trees
tops of mountains
gotta go
push
more I hope
higher I fly
deeper I believe
faster I fly
bigger I love
easier I fly
birds quacking at me now
get outta my way
gotta go
don’t have time
I’m fearless
confident
free
I got this
I can do this
I need this
I left everything behind
everything
now I’m almost there
almost
seeing the crust now
the outer lining
the entryway into darkness
getting closer
it’s thick
too thick
can’t break through
I can’t
then I see His glow
see it coming closer
getting brighter
like He’s gonna help me
like He’s gonna pull me through
But He doesn’t
He just says “Go!”
bam!
I bust right through
pieces of crust shoot everywhere
exploding
I’m in darkness now
I made it
weightless
I want to be terrified, but I’m not
I want to be scared, but I feel fine
I want to hold on to something, but not really
looking around
hard to see
stars are far away
no fire
just His glow
darkness obeys Him
moves out of His way when He moves
His glow replaces the darkness
like a painting changing colors
right before my eyes
powerful
easy
weird
He doesn’t hold my hand anymore
He knows I don’t need it
at least not now
not here
His glow warms me all over
in my heart
illuminating my mind
powering my strength
like soft electricity
we float around
looking at nothing
but looking at everything
I see things
see the explanation of some things
see the beginning of some things
even see the end of some things
He stays beside me the whole time
keeps His Hand right there
just in case I need to hold it
He knows when I’ve had enough
knows how much I can take
how much I can process right now
how much my mind can behold
He guides me back to the hole
tells me I did good
tells me I made Him proud
tells me my faith was enough
then He hugs me
then kisses my face
then squeezes my shoulder
like He doesn’t want me to leave
like He needs me
like He’ll be waiting right here for me
He wraps me in His glow one last time
then He pushes me back out
not violent
but firm
making sure I leave the darkness
making sure I go all the way out
making sure I don’t leave any part of me behind
then I hear Him calling me
from the other side
I love you, He says
I’ll be waiting
Copyright 2020. All Rights Reserved. Michelle St. Claire